Friday, July 19, 2013

I think I just barfed a little.

When you go to the gym at the same times every day, you tend to see the same people.  For me, I tend to see "the old man at the gym", as I call him.  Let's call him Walter.  That is not his real name, but we will call him that. 
So Walter plays tennis, and when he is done playing tennis, he sits at the tables in the lobby and talks to his other old man friends.  Our "friendship" began when I started working out after I got off at the salon, AKA the same time that Walter sits at the tables and talks to his friends. 
He started out by saying "You are very fit young lady, you must come here a lot." 
"Really? Reeeeally?" I thought.  Very fit would not be a word I would use to describe myself.  Squishy maybe, but not very fit. 
The conversations escaladed later on down the road.  When I walked past him, he would point at me and yell, "Hey!  Good to see you!  You're beautiful!".  This went on for a while, and then summer came along, and I started working out during the day too.
Guess who also plays tennis during the day?
He spotted me on a treadmill, and proceeded to hop on the treadmill right next to me.  Greeeeeat.  So we go through the same routine.  "You're so fit, what do you to when you work out?  You are just so beautiful.  Gosh, it's good to see you."  But he also asked me about my life, what I do, how old I was, IF I WAS SINGLE (I was at the time).  Really guy?  I figured out that he was loaded, and lucky for me also single.  I think I just barfed a little in my mouth at that point.  Turns out he knew some people that I knew, so we talked about that for a while.  That's all I remember about that.
Then the regular conversations continued, only now he has his friends on me too. 
"Hey!  Here she is!  You look nice tonight.  These are my friends."  His friends call me Miss America. And one of them now sings the Miss America song when I walk through the lobby.  "Here she is!  Miss Americaaaaaa."
Fast forward a few months, and now for whatever reason he is always leaving when I am getting there.  He comes in for the hug, and attempts to kiss me on the cheek.  Only he is short, so the kiss ends up on my neck.  Insert a little barf again.  And since he got a hug now his big sweaty friend wants a hug too.  And then I had to take a shower before I even worked out.
I know what you are thinking, why don't you say something, he is harassing you, blah, blah, blah.  But I never really feel threatened or harassed.  It's one of those things where you just chuckle, roll your eyes, and continue on with your day.  Even the workers know how he is and roll their eyes.
Fast forward to the present, and the awkward neck kisses, hugs, short conversations are continuing.  He also hits a tennis ball at the window to get my attention if he is playing tennis, and now he is calling me Debbie.  "Hey Debbie!"  "How's it going Debbie?"  "Good to see you Debbie!"
"Walter, why are you calling me Debbie?  That is not my name."  But I do not say that, I just let him call me Debbie.  The first time he called me Debbie, I thought I heard him wrong.  Then after he kept calling me that I just let it go. 
So yesterday I see him.  "Hey Debbie!  I haven't seen you in a while!  Where have you been?" 
"I have been hiding in my car when I see you leaving  I've been here, we must be just missing each other." 
He leaves the gym.  I go to yoga.  When yoga is over I head across the street to Starbucks for a morning pick me up.  I walk in the door, and there sits Walter.
Oh great.  Maybe he won't notice me.  Maybe if I play on my phone he'll think I didn't see him.
"HEY DEB!  Are you stalking me?"
So it continues....


Jennifer Ross said...

haha!!! man...maybe you need to have a strapping young man escorting you and walter will get the hint ;-)

Simone @ Busy as a Honey Bee said...

I know these moments with this man may freak you out a bit... But this is so hilarious! Lol! Thanks Debbie for sharing!


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