I am not very witty. I can be, but I have to have time to think about. Like a pre-planned conversation. I cannot think quickly on my feet. Sometimes I wish I could just blurt out sarcastic remarks on the fly.
I especially wished this on Wednesday night. I had just finished my 3 hour yoga/kickboxing/core workout, and I needed to go to Barnes and Noble to get a magazine for Kelly. I looked like I have been crying because I sweat so much that all my mascara was running down my face. My eye shadow had moved to underneath my eyes. Maybe I just looked like a raccoon. Oh did I mention the shirt I was wearing look strikingly similar to a wife beater?
So I'm driving down the road, and I got stopped by a stoplight. From my peripheral vision I can tell the guys in the car next to me are staring at me. I really tried not to look. But then I kind of just had to. They were waving their hands and acting like idiots. Then the driver got out his phone and was pointing at it and waving it in the air. In all the awkwardness, I looked away and ignored them.
The light turned green, and I drove off. I didn't know where they went, but I didn't really care. Then I pull in the Barnes and Noble parking lot and get out of the car with all my trashy, raccoon-ness. Guess who was also going to Barnes and Noble?!
"I promise I'm not stalking you he said!" he yelled across the parking lot, with his friend laughing in the background.... And what was my comeback to that? "Haha. It's fine!" And I proceeded to crouching-tiger-hidden-dragon-my way back to the magazine section, hoping not to have another awkward encounter.
Of course after the fact I am thinking of all kinds of witty things to say. Like "Oh you're not stalking me? Because it kind of seems like you are!" or "Oh really? Two classy guys such as yourself came to buy books with big words?"
You know what I did think right away? "This is good blogging material."